Caught in a War

Being caught in a war/conflict or difficult situation is something I never want to imagine. But here I am, playing as the third person out of the story – the observer.

How it feels? Though I’m just an observer, I’m not comfort with it, especially if it happens to my closest (whether it's between parents, parents-children, siblings, or friends, I'd rather to talk generally). Just like what Cera said in The Mad Song (The Land Before Time VIII: The Big Freeze):

When your tummy feels all sticky and hot

Like it's filled with bubbly goo

And those fuzzy, buzzy things inside your head

Make you sad and blue

I’m, a melancholic girl with ratio of logic vs feeling = 2 : 3, tend to see this situation emotionally. (Apparently, it depends on the degree of complexity and tension of situation. For this case, in the range of 0 – 10 of scale, I mark it 8.5).  

If only a slap can wake up someone’s awareness, I’d do what this hand urges.

But in the meantime, the angel part of me whispering that negative feeling never bear good things, it worsens situations instead.

… Unfortunately, life never be that simple. A slap never exist in any prescription for “heart”-disease therapy. If it does exist, that’s irrational prescription.

I ignore that negative willing and tend to give time to self for a cooling down. Many things take place in my mind, especially my protest of childish and unwise acts of the conflict trigger. No matter how long the protest I arrange in mind, I can’t speak up. Not because I’m dauntless, but I just think that I’d speak up in vain coz I talk to the one who doesn’t want to lend his ears. What I can do now is only waiting, waiting for a clear mind and pure heart to talk wisely.

I’m waiting.

And in this waiting I learned much….

• It’s better to say nothing when you’re angry, mad, and out of mind… coz whatever comes out from uncontrolled negative feeling never sounds nice... it hurts… and whatever has already been come out can never be taken back. The worst one, a pain may be healed, but it never be the same again.

• Never get quarrel in front of kids. They may not understand what’s going on, but they may keep that bad moment in mind; anger, bad words, negative feeling, and so on. That’s not got for them, for their mental growth, for their character building.

• Never blame someone for a problem without examining your contribution on it. A silence gives much contribution and often becomes the main factor causing a conflict. Your silence let them not know about you, your opinion and feeling. An unspoken anger or disagreement which failed to be neutralized then stored in heart can be mounted up. And you imagine what will happen if that mount explodes.